February 14, 2007

Todays topic is the culture of romance and capitalism

I would like to pick out one of todays 3 main points, which we talked about “ the 3 ways of romantic culture.”

There are three main ideas which signify what love means in a cultural way combined with Marx's capitalism ideology.

1. Love depends on consumption

   - romance is consumption ex. Movies, dinner etc.

   - you cannot marry until you have right financial resource ( people concerns -> capitalism Marx)

   - links to economy for ex. Ad's show what we need to do to reach love (context product-money)

2. All you need is love

   - the “perfect home” (wife, love etc.) is haven in heartless world

   - love gives you strength, support, security and comfort

   - if you are home, you're withdraw from world around you, problems etc.

   - cop out from mobilization

   - comfort is easy to resist rebellion

3. Relationship views and American emphasis of work

   - regarding Pat Love (self-help book author) relationship is hard work and requires skills

   - expression “marital work ethic” - means to work harden than before to make a relationship work!

   - 1.mythological and 2.prosaic way of love

   * 1. romance, flowers, faith, candles

   * 2. effort and amount of work that we put in on day to day basis

   - Americans do believe to put work in their relationship

   + capitalism; we living in a 24 h economy day

   + since 1970 we have more hours to work today as then (even more computers and other machines to make work shorter)

   + we work more because work is much more fun, we prefer to work than go home (but also in fast-living days, worry about jobs)

Preliminary there is the knowledge of Marx's capitalism society. Content is the history of struggle between Proletariat and Bourgeoisie contested in relationships. Image of class conflicts.

B. uses weapons against P. , cultural weapons, Laws, family etc. Marx and Engels agree that the weapon is culture, and the culture keeps workers in factories --> other, ideology, set of ideas which is controls by B.

I would like to send you my ideas to the last point, the relationship views and emphasis of work.

It is right to put as much effort in a relationship as you can to make it work out for you. It isn't just a matter if you have the correct skills for that, like to know the right moment to bring a flower or light a candle. It is also a matter of talking and solving problems together. The self-help books are produced for shaky people who are not confident enough to deal with their own problems. Of course those books help people to organize their life's, but even if you have these little helpers to teach you the necessary skills, you won't have the time to sit with you partner and discuss the issues. We are living in a world where nothing else is counting as much as money, to make that money you need to work. Ideally, we have to work all day long to make that much money but seriously there is not much time left if you start working around 8am and stop at 7pm. There is not much time to worry about other things and belongings like wife and love and problems one might have. That points out that the capitalism influences our love life and the view of our relationships. The capitalism society, described by Marx, is profiting by the love which people develop. It keeps the system working, because if you want the full experience of love you need to consume, if it is buying a diamond ring or allow yourself a haircut for the first date. You need the capitalism to make the whole relationship work. In sum it is hard to combine both, love, relationship and work in the mythological and prosaically way but we can't make one work without the other.

I think in general we ought to think about the question if the traditional marriage really exists?

In the following I will explain what I mean by that.

There is the thought in everyones mind about the perfect family, consisting a mom and a dad and ideally some children. They parents met early they fell in love and loved each other since ever. In the end they are married for 50 years still in love and without any troubles and arguing. Does it sound real to you and existing? If you go back in friends marriages and so on, did they experienced something truly?

My view:

I did think about the same way, that we have to marry someone lovable and sweet and stay together happily ever after. And I am pretty sure there are marriages like this in the world, mostly another generation but still there. I also think it is a great ambition to live like that but if we are facing the truth it probably won't be like this. Since I started reading Stephanie Coontz , Marriage, a History

I am a little bit shacked by the concept of the traditional marriage. I gonna keep reading and let you know if I have some more informations or news if the “traditional marriage'” is just a ghost that never really exist.

Thanks,Jana